Divorce Coaching & Consulting

Do You Need Divorce Consultation?

Thinking about divorce and feeling frightened? Worried about your kids?

Anxious about money? Worried how your spouse will react?

Don't know where to begin?

Or,

You've begun the divorce and it feels like it's lasting forever?

You feel that it's out of control? Legal fees are piling up and nothing is happening?

You probably need divorce consulting, divorce coaching or both.

What is Divorce Consultation?

Divorce consultation is expert advice that helps you achieve a good divorce and avoid destructive and bitter divorce, For most people divorce is scary and confusing. You hear horror stories as well-meaning but ill-advised friends and relatives compete to give you bad advice. Too often this advice is destructive because it encourages you to fight. There are so many myths about divorce that many people stumble into bad divorces they could have avoided had someone shown them how to achieve good divorce. In a one or two hour consult you can learn what you need to know about divorce.

What is Divorce Coaching?

Whereas the divorce consult teaches you about divorce, divorce coaching helps you make the difficult decisions. Do I really want a divorce or is it worth yet another try? Do I want mediation or representation? How do we tell the kids? Do I want to try joint custody? How do I choose a lawyer? You have to make decisions throughout the process and coaching can help you make them well.

Most people, provided with adequate leadership, can achieve good divorces in which the parties wish each other well, negotiate an agreement both think is fair and emerge from the process able to cooperate around the children. And most people who end up with angry, costly and destructive divorces could have had good divorces if they had better advice.

I can help you achieve a good divorce

After more than thirty years as a divorce lawyer and mediator and after helping thousands of couples, I have a good sense of how the system works. I understand how the emotional process of divorce interacts with the legal process and how a decision in one affects what happens in the other. This helps me identify the situations which destroy the chance of an amicable and constructive divorce and help people make better choices. Where you need to learn about divorce I can teach you. I help you understand the law and how the legal system really works. I can explain the economic, emotional and practical issues of divorce. And when you are struggling with difficult decisions I can coach you to the best decisions for you and your family.

I can provide expert, informed and wise counsel at any stage of a divorce when someone just needs a half hour or an hour of help to decide how to proceed. I can help you avoid the common mistakes very early in the process that sour a divorce before it even begins. I can help you decide whether you want conventional representation or mediation and help you choose the right professional. I can calm you down when you are fearful and excited and interpret legal events that appear scary because you don’t understand them. I can help you develop realistic expectations of your lawyer and help you hold your lawyer accountable. And if you have developed a bad relationship with your lawyer I can help you make a change.

Here are some questions I can help you answer.

Before the Divorce
  • How do I know if I really want a divorce?
  • What about a temporary separation?
  • How do I know if my spouse is thinking divorce?
  • Can we afford to divorce?
  • How do I manage the guilt about the kids?
In the Beginning
  • How do I tell my spouse I want a divorce?
  • How do I deal with my anger?
  • How do I deal with my spouse’s anger?
  • How can we keep the divorce peaceful?
  • How can we decide to avoid “dirty tricks?”
  • How do we tell the children?
  • When and what do we tell friends and family?
  • What if my spouse doesn’t want the divorce?
  • What if my spouse wants to divorce and I don’t?
  • Should I take some money out of our accounts?
  • What do I do if I think my spouse is having an affair?
  • Should I tell my spouse if I am having and affair?
  • Should we go to counseling together to deal with the divorce?
Getting Started
  • Do I need to hire a lawyer?
  • How do I find a good lawyer?
  • How do I find a good mediator?
  • What if one of us feels the other is at fault and is to blame for the failure of the marriage. How should that play out?
  • How do we agree to keep the divorce peaceful?
  • Is there such a thing as a good divorce and if so, how do we get one?
  • How do we manage if both of us want to stay in the house?
  • What if we don’t have money for a second dwelling?
  • What is the process of divorce? Do I have grounds? Does it matter?
  • Do most divorces settle before a trial?
Managing the Legal System
  • How do I find out about my rights?
  • What can I reasonably expect from my lawyer?
  • How can I control the legal expenses of the divorce?
  • Does divorce always mean a big fight?
  • What are the advantages of mediation?
  • How do we find a good mediator?
  • What are the important legal issues?
  • What if I don’t like my lawyer after a while?
  • What do I do if it seems to be taking forever?
Managing the Negotiation
  • How do I know if I am getting a fair deal?
  • What if I think my spouse is hiding assets?
  • What if I worry that the kids don’t want to be with my spouse?
  • What’s the best parenting schedule?
  • My kids don’t want to go to my spouse’s house. What should I do?
  • How do I know if my lawyer is a good negotiator?
  • Am I better off just letting the judge decide?
After the Divorce
  • My ex spouse is always late picking up and bringing home the children. What should I do?
  • When I go to pick up the kids for my weekend, my ex often meets me at the door and tells me the kids have decided to have a sleepover at one of their friends. What should I do?
  • My support check is always late. What should I do?
  • My ex husband has been having his girlfriend over when the kids are there. Can I stop this?
  • When I go to get the kids my ex always picks that time to start a fight in front of the kids which they find upsetting. What should I do?
  • My spouse wants us all to have Thanksgiving together. Is that a good idea?

I can answer questions when you have them. You can talk to me for fifteen minutes or two hours, whatever you need. And I can be available evenings and weekends if that is the only time you have. The cost is very modest . Call me with your questions.

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